Acceptance of Mediocrity for Fear of Success

Friday, December 08, 2006



This blog will be in essence a rambling about some inspiration I recently received from watching the movie "Finding Forrester." For the most part, this may not be coherent because the idea I would like to convey is not tangible to me at this time. I just can't put my finger on it, but here is a shot.

WARNING: I will be spoiling some of the end of the movie, so do not read if you do not wish to know. The move involves t the end of the movie, there is a quote that basically goes as such: "Men often run away from their dreams for fear of failure, or better yet, for fear of success."

The entire movie, especially that quote, inspires a lot of introspection in me. You see, I don't quite understand my role on impacting this world. And yes, as a Christian, the answer is the Gospel, but I am just not quite satisfied with giving that answer, because I feel that such a simple, trite answer does not even convey the fulness of what that means. It seems stripped of value, waiting for some plaque on the doorway or answer while raising your hand in church but when it comes down to it not an answer for when I am waking up and pursuing my day.

You see, I am an American. And as such I fear that much of my life is being wasted away. When we are younger, we have dreams and aspirations, hopes filled with bright promise. But as I am getting older, I see some seemingly innocent concepts replacing those dreams. What may have been a dream so impact the world, to live my fingerprint on mankind, has now been subty and slowly replaced with the dream of security and stability. I find myself pursuing ends and means of being "successful" in the capitalistic American sense. That is, I want to do whatever it takes to have the assurance that I will be okay in the future, than I can raise a family and purchase a house and be able to set up college funds. I want to know that I can one day retire, that I will not be going from paycheck to paycheck, and while these aspirations are good, I see them replacing the youthful hopes I once had.

America was founded by men of valor, men who sacrificed much for us to live in freedom. They came over in ships, m any of them dying on the way, or while here or starvation, facing tough winters and eventually standing up to a great world power in Britian. And I do not think that in their wildest dreams they would have envisioned us living as we do today. We are entertaining ourselves to death, spending our lives aspiring to have the future set up, all the while grudgingly and often numbly pursuing the present as if it were a task, a chore. Much of this is so we can own a nicer car or be able to wear a certain brand of close. The irony seems unreal to me, and I'm a part of it.

William Forester in the movie had lived in seclusion for decades. He had written the great American novel of the 20th century, and then, after burying his brother, mother and father in a 5 month period, he seperated from life. Not until he met a young 16 year old gifted man who inspired him did he go out and pursue his dreams at the sunset of his life.

This does tie into the Gospel, although the intention of this post was not originally for that purpose. You see, if you are a Christian, you know the answer to the question of the most important thing in the world. So it would seem. But I think our envisioning of this is as far off from the truth as it could be. Because, as Christians, we view the Gospel as an event, soething for those who do not believe. Maybe that we give a tract out in some downtown neighborhood or we have to go to some foreign country and do a puppet show. And all the while everyone around us sees that we are miserable because in whatever we do we do not delight nor enjoy. We pursue our own comfort, fearful of the things we really desire to do. And the sad thing is everyone around us knows it. We can tell them about Christ and what He has done in our lives, but they see right through to our cores, and see that we are as miserable as them. This is not a flaw of the Gospel, it just shows how poor our grasp of it is.

The Gospel is for believers, as well as non-believers. The Gospel should shake the foundations of our lives in such a way that it permeates our approach to our jobs or our schoolwork. What I am not saying is that we should act happy all the time to make others believe what we believe. What I am saying is that we should be so consumed by what Christ has done for us, and so greatful for what He has gifted us with that we should passionately and unashamedly pursue the every passion of our hearts. If you are inspired to write, then write. Or if you have a passion for helping people medically, pursue that. But this is so much more than just your future job, it is a motivation that so few people seem to have. It is rare to see someone who is a passionate pursuer of life. It is something that cannot be trained, or faked.

And so it is not just now that I am at a crossroads, in a time where I am about to go to graduate school and move towards my future. Rather, it is everyday I am place at a crossroads to accept life as a sort of checklist, as a task, looking to some day in the distant future when everything will be right and then I can be happy, or to pursue that day with full, heart-wrenching enthusiasm. That joy and passion for life is what is lacking the Christian today, and that is what keeps us from really feeling satisfied.

Lastly, I just want to make sure I am not mistaken. I am not trying to say that it is wrong to save or to be wise with money. What I am trying to say is that it is wrong to make that the substance of life. Secondly, I am not saying is that you must pursue the job you want. I believe that Christians should pursue joy in all things placed in our lives, even the bad things, because we have Christ and He has provided all things in Him. There are people right now who are unfairly locked away in prisons and are tortured everyday. I do not think they are exempt from pursuing joy. One of the greatest books I have ever read was "Tortured for Christ", written by a believer who had years of his life taken away from him in jail, imprisoned for being a Christian and tortured. He had joy and contentment and passion, much more than us with freedom. We should pursue all such things with the joy of what we have in Christ - what he has provided us in Himself IS our security.